He awoke in the night to a pale blue figure,
and a smell in the room that smelled real bitter—
that was his wife,
Diane.

The creature pulled down his covers and looked in his eyes,
and poked out a big ‘ole tongue, about pint-sized
Creature started screaming and yelpin’
Makin demands!
Said all I want is right’chere on that wall, that big ole buckskin!

Mr. Elwyn thought it strange
that it wanted such a strange trophy,
Or maybe it was his perfect English
that had him smelling phony.

If you’re an alien, prove it to me
and abduct my wife
If I see her beamin’ up,
I suppose you can gander at my wildlife

The alien muttered somethin’
about Richard Nixon,
Then asked Mr. Elwyn
if he’d like to get his last licks in

Well, nah, I just suppose you oughta take her asleep,
I’d rather see her go when she’s at peace
The alien pulled out a Zippo and started wavin’ it around,
and Diane Elwyn was no longer on the ground
Her body started floatin, shootin’ to the sky,
in a second she was gone, outta sight so high.

There ya go, said the alien, I did what you asked
I finally will get me a buck, at long last
Mr. Elwyn still thought something was mighty strange
But he had to trust his own eyes,
perhaps this alien was a wizard in disguise.

He pulled the deerskin off of the wall,
And tossed it to the alien, nails and all

Well don’t you want to have your wife
back safe before I go?

He said, Jimmy, just get the h--- out
and bury her ‘neath the pines
The police will be here soon,
And I gotta rehearse my lines

Version updated on: Dec. 6, 2016

Lion cub,
lion cub,
why do you
cry tonight?

Big man,
big man,
how do you
eat tonight?

Do you cry
for a mother,
or longing
for a brother?

I cry for a
people, dying,
that the earth
is still supplying

We are not dying,
silly lion cub
You search all-night;
kill no more than a nub

Big man,
lions do not hunt to kill,
but rather for our stomach
to get its fill

Little cub, please
listen closely to me,
you were made to devour
you fill the red of the sea

Tell me this big man,
where is the mark of the lion?
You drill, drill, drill,
diving for black diamond

Tiny beast!
Do not make me angry
I will skin you alive,
Your home, my pantry!

Big man, do not worry,
your secret is safe with me
Burn down our grasslands,
and watch Her crumble

I cry for the lion cub who misunderstands
This world wasn’t wet enough
for the fires of man

Version updated on: Dec. 6, 2016